Note:
These WERE actually written on the dates listed, so let's not over-judge the 23-year-old with her first high-pressure job (and access to unlimited espresso). I resisted the urge to edit this stuff, too...sometimes against my better judgment. Cope.
These WERE actually written on the dates listed, so let's not over-judge the 23-year-old with her first high-pressure job (and access to unlimited espresso). I resisted the urge to edit this stuff, too...sometimes against my better judgment. Cope.
Thursday, March 25, 2004
I think it's the caffiene. At least, i hope so...
Why am i CRAZY? I mean, other than staring at numbers all day, balancing bank accounts, not eating, and drinking somewhere around nine cups of coffee...if THAT'S all it takes to send me into a lapse of sanity, then the human form is weaker than i'd feared. Stupid Charles, no escape clause written into that whole "survival of the fittest" business...not to mention he prolly banked more on opium than on caffiene. Entirely different effects on the reproductive output of humans, no? Well, that an' he was thinking a little more about beasties than people, but why would *i* differentiate? I'm making a point here. i think. somewhere. Arrr, going in search of some black-market Ritalin....and back to the numbers. Weee!!!
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Thursday, March 18, 2004
let's do the tax-season tango!!!
say it with me, kids..."sales tax is evil!" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!! college education be damned, there's something to be said for having absolutely no marketable skills...y'know what that is?? NO STRESS!!!!! cos now, i feel like i'm supposed to know how to do things that i DEFINITELY didn't learn in finance classes....and it's making me insane! mostly 'cos there was someone else defective whose "work" i have to take care of now, but still....insanity is what it is, there's not too much I can do about that! Shnarl....it's gonna be a long weekend.
Monday, February 23, 2004
relationships=satan
actually, that's not true--i think i have more respect for said Prince of Darkness than i do for friggin' relationshippy-things. Arrrhhhhh. i'm ALWAYS the "gee, i wish i could find a girlfriend just like you!" girl. WHAT'S wrong with ME, then!?!? why LIKE me and NOT me?!?! *snarl* granted, it could be the prickly anticomittal attitude, but still...that's just a firewall. test it, and it crumbles. i just like a little adversity.
___________________________________________________________________relationships=satan
actually, that's not true--i think i have more respect for said Prince of Darkness than i do for friggin' relationshippy-things. Arrrhhhhh. i'm ALWAYS the "gee, i wish i could find a girlfriend just like you!" girl. WHAT'S wrong with ME, then!?!? why LIKE me and NOT me?!?! *snarl* granted, it could be the prickly anticomittal attitude, but still...that's just a firewall. test it, and it crumbles. i just like a little adversity.
Monday, February 16, 2004
monday, monday
yes...there is no fruit. AAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!! whywhywhywhy must Mondays be the stressful days? I mean, come on--I even got CUTE today, and all i'm doing is trying not to pull my hair out. Sometimes numbers are fun and challenging. Today, they are my nemesis. They laugh at me..."SURPRISE," they say, "We multiplied, but not in the good way! Now you have two and a half billion of us to account for, and there's no record of us! Some of us are positive and some are negative! YAY! and if you guess us wrong, you'll go to jail! YAAAAAAAAAY! Party with the numbers!" snarl. back to the taunting. ;o)
____________________________________________________________________monday, monday
yes...there is no fruit. AAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!! whywhywhywhy must Mondays be the stressful days? I mean, come on--I even got CUTE today, and all i'm doing is trying not to pull my hair out. Sometimes numbers are fun and challenging. Today, they are my nemesis. They laugh at me..."SURPRISE," they say, "We multiplied, but not in the good way! Now you have two and a half billion of us to account for, and there's no record of us! Some of us are positive and some are negative! YAY! and if you guess us wrong, you'll go to jail! YAAAAAAAAAY! Party with the numbers!" snarl. back to the taunting. ;o)
Wednesday, February 11, 2004
i'm having a Mrs. Robinson moment. Err...well, at least sorta, without the "old" part--and the daughter part. But still. It's disturbing.
Thursday, February 05, 2004
hate. destruction. fire an' flames and all-consuming DOOM. (just be patient, i'll be back to my usual perky self in a moment) It's ONE thing to be blown off in a social/personal sense--you take it as an affront, but at the same time, people are indeed "human" and if they ditch you, you can just assume that there wasn't a connection made, for whatever reason, and get on with life. BUT When the SAME individual worms their way into your PROFESSIONAL life, earns the trust of your superiors, and then blows you off AGAIN, it's just...plain...wrong. As long as i can take an insult upon myself, i don't mind as much (read: much sulking), but when i schedule a goddamn meeting on company time, to be stood up is more than just embarrassing. It makes ME look like i'm not performing to standard, and it makes me FEEL like i can't do my damn job, which i KNOW isn't the case, but i can't exactly explain to my boss that some moron decided to 'postpone' our meeting because he has bizarre freudian power issues. snarl. i can't even blame myself for getting naked with business associates, as he decided to get involved with the company AFTER the fact. i don't understand how this became MY problem, but here it is...i'm lacking the info i need for a presentation, and feeling like an a b s o l u t e loser... and i'm cute, dammit. (that's what it all comes down to, really. why am i not cute ENOUGH? seriously, if people were just more shallow, i'd win more often. yeah.) back to work--there's nothing like analyzing bank documents to make a girl feel better about herself! oi. better now.
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Saturday, January 31, 2004
i think my muse woke up
funny thing, really...i lived and breathed music pretty much my whole life (well, from age 4 on), and a couple years ago, something just died--i stopped caring, stopped hearing things the way i always had. so i stopped playing/singing/writing...all of it. and though i haven't been totally "lost" per se, i haven't felt like 'me', either. the point is, i think whatever it was that i lost is being rebuilt, though slowly, and i've been feeling a real desire to start writing and playing again--frustrating, because i feel so rusty, like it's a life that's not mine, like it's a community i'm not part of anymore, but at the same time, i think any challenges i might go through will be worth it. i hope. Now....to just stay motivated long enough to get the ball rolling without being horribly discouraged. Argh.
_______________________________________________________________i think my muse woke up
funny thing, really...i lived and breathed music pretty much my whole life (well, from age 4 on), and a couple years ago, something just died--i stopped caring, stopped hearing things the way i always had. so i stopped playing/singing/writing...all of it. and though i haven't been totally "lost" per se, i haven't felt like 'me', either. the point is, i think whatever it was that i lost is being rebuilt, though slowly, and i've been feeling a real desire to start writing and playing again--frustrating, because i feel so rusty, like it's a life that's not mine, like it's a community i'm not part of anymore, but at the same time, i think any challenges i might go through will be worth it. i hope. Now....to just stay motivated long enough to get the ball rolling without being horribly discouraged. Argh.
Wednesday, January 28, 2004
01/28/04
I hate numbers. Especially the ones related to the bank. Days like today, i regret ever taking Acctg 1010 in college--it started all this insanity, i could be a perfectly successful hippie-sidewalk-musician by now if i hadn't taken calculus for fun. Grrr. Back to the crunching--say something nice so i feel justified in *not* being violent by the time i get out of this office! ;o)
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